One of the biggest concerns of adoptive parents is whether the adopted
child fit in the family. No matter how confident they are and how excited they
are, they tend to look at the child and wonder what if he or she does not fit
in the family? It is a perfectly normal and common concern, more so if you have
another child. It is obviously crucial for the child’s well-being and
development to bond well with the parents and siblings if any. But before you
go around over-burdening yourself with the query, why not think of another
instead. What if he fits in perfectly? Instead of breeding negative thoughts,
why not ensure all the positivity you can in welcoming the child in your
family. And then take care of all the necessary precautions. Parents
need to know and be concerned about the only essential things about adoption –
love, care, affection and proper bonding with the child. As long as you bond
very well with the child, he will fit right in.
Let’s discuss a few ways to get your adopted child fit in the family.
- Don’t
rush
Parents should know
that it is a huge change for the kid who they are adopting. Coming into a new
family amidst people he doesn’t even know and adjusting as family might sound
easy but it is not. The age of the child you are adopting plays a big role here
– older the kid is, more will be the difficulties in adjusting. Babies less
than a year old might have changes in general pattern, but they won’t be fussy
and will soon adjust. Toddlers, on the other hand, can give you a tough time,
more so if he has a traumatic past and can suffer from attachment problems or may be
some health issues. Give
him the time and space to cope up and in the meantime know your child.
Love him unconditionally and spend as much time as you can. Practice
habits like reading together or listening to music which can be soothing and
also keep them calm. Time heals everything.
- Communicate
Developing proper
communication with your adopted child is a crucial aspect in the parent-child
bonding. Talk to him more, encourage him to respond or chat about anything and
everything. If you’re dealing with a baby here, talk more and ensure it soaks
up your vocabulary. Develop communication when doing other activities like
taking a walk, during play time or otherwise. Not only will this grow a healthy
sharing bond, it will also like that you are paying enough attention.
- Touch
Parent’s touch is
the best way to communicate with a young child who has just been adopted into
your family. To see that he feels safe, secure and loved in his new family,
make sure you hold the adopted kid, hug or cuddle often. Many people tend to
overlook the smallest things, but they make a huge impact on kids trying to
cope in a situation like this and even a pat on the shoulder can encourage them
and make them happy.
If you are maintaining a healthy communication and bond well, you can
help you adopted child fit in the family. They will no different than
having your own biological child.
