This is a very common case in adoption. Adopted kids with inconsistent
and unpredictable caregivers undergo this traumatic condition. It is a
condition in infancy where the infant never trusts or feels secure with the
caretaker. Parenting an adopted child with attachment problems has to be dealt
with care. Else, it can affect their ability to building a connection
with the child. To deal with the issue, it is important to know what it
entails. It comes with inappropriate, unacceptable, unpredictable and
uncontrollable traits. Controlling is not difficult for those with mild
disorder though, it is undeniably a very painful process as it involves the
entire lifetime of the child and the parents. Those with severity will have
very tough times.
Below are some ways to parenting an adopted child with attachment problems.
- Awareness
The insecurity
faced during a child’s initial years is the cause. The changing hands of the
primary caregivers affect a child’s health, both mentally and physically.
Adoptive parents should be considerate and patient with the child when the
child arrives into the new family. It takes time for the child and the parents
as well to accept the new member into the family.
- Identify
the symptoms
Identifying the
symptoms can be hard in the initial stages. But sooner or later it surfaces.
The child exhibits a withdrawn behavior, or outburst anger or a violent
behavior if a child is older. Identifying the symptoms at an early stage can
prevent further damage of the delicate bonding process shared between the
parents and the adopted child.
- Clear
communication
Communication is
the key to every relationship. It is much more essential with the children who
have attachment issues. Eye to eye contact with clear words along with a kind
gesture is vital. A smile on your face can be a catalyst.
- One
at a time
A child generally
is comfortable with the mother. But a father too has a major role. Adoption
should have a well-planned strategy with a clear classification of the role of
a mother and father. One at a time, include in your adopted child’s life, be it
a routine or a person.
- Be
consistent
Consistency in your
parenting style can help a lot for a child to cope up with his or her new
family. A consistent routine along with patience and endurance is much needed.
With the planned strategies, every challenging moment can be dealt wisely.
- Spend
time as much as possible
The two of you to
bond deeply has to be worked on smartly. Especially with younger kids, it is
the responsibility of the parents alone to take charge. Spending time together,
being with the child, attending to every little need of the child can help your
bonding to have a strong base.
To sum up, all a child needs is love and affection. With the right
support of the family, a child, adolescent, or young adult with an attachment
disorder can experience significant healing and learn to better connect with
others. Eating disorders and health issues are other two
aspects that need attention. However, parenting an adopted child with
attachment problems can be easy by following the above tips.
