Adoption talk is something more or less all parents dread having with
their children. They often think putting their children through details about
adoption at an early age is over-burdening them unnecessarily. Some parents
also dread how and where to star. While some fear their child will not handle
the adoption news well. It does not necessarily have to be a sudden
revelation. Once they grow up, enough to understand, adopted kids must
know about his adoption as much as you know. It is easier for the children to
process the information if parents provide inconsequential small talks from an
early age. This can go a long way in shaping their adulthood.
Here are the six crucial things adopted kids must know before Age six.
- They
are adoptedTell them gradually. Go step by step. By the time they
are 6 years old ensure that your child knows that they are adopted. Also
make sure they do not see that in anything but good light. How you develop
your child’s thinking about adoption and the whole incident at an early
age will shape his future. If as a parent you are unsure how to go about
it, get information. They should not only
know about their adoption but should also know, it is also the best thing
to happen.
- Adoption
is normalYou should see to it that your child sees no difference in his
growing up as a family than other children. Educate them from an early age
how adoption is a normal way and also a great way for families to grow.
Inculcate this thought in them from an early age that children can grow up
with their adoptive parents or birth parents. And that both are more
similar than different.
- Birth-parentsBy
this time the children reach an age where they should know that they were
born in the same way other children are. They did not just appear.
Tell them little about their birth-parents if you know. Save the
excruciating details, but you can lay down the groundwork by this age.
Also never talk about their birth-parents in any disrespectful way, even
if you are not very supportive of their choices.
- Not
their faultMany children tend to think as kids it is something they did
which made their birth-parents put them up for adoption. Eradicate any and
every such thought from their head right from the start. Always tell them
how their birth-parents always loved them and had to put them up for
adoption for some valid reason. At this age, the child needs consolation
and a validation that he or she are the best thing to happen. It is
absolutely not their fault.
- CuriosityAssure
them you as their adoptive parents are nothing different and they are your
child. Encourage and entertain their queries. Assure them they can ask as
many questions as they want and you will answer all their questions.
- Adoptive-parentsAdopted
kids must know and have no doubts that their adoptive parents are no
different than birth-parents. They should understand that you will love
them and care for them the most and will always do so. They are your child
and no-one can take that away.Being parents, you should understand that
there are certain things that you can never expect from your adopted
child.