Life
was pretty simple. Having everything I had
wished for – lovely kids, caring husband and successful career, days continued
to simply whizz by. Waking up every
morning with the goal of reaching my workplace and after return, spending some
time with kids were my priorities. And Sundays were fun days. But on one such morning, I woke up with no
goal and priorities. It happens sometimes;
I thought and tried to shrug it off. But
that was the beginning of it. As days
rolled on, with the recurring feelings of aimless days, life started turning
out dull. What is happening to me? Why ? I neither understood nor could ferret out
the reasons. The more I thought and analyzed, it confused me with more of
questions. I became restless. With the
feeling growing intense, I felt a compelling urge to change things, in and
around me. I plunged on to an immediate
action. A different hair cut, I thought
and soon I was done with it on the very same evening. On my way back home I decided to shop some
clothes to suit that new look of mine. Being Sunday, the only day off, I thought, I
had to make the best of it and shopping of accessories followed, right ones that
goes with that new look and the new collections. Finally
by the end of the day, I was all smiles, pleased with that new perfect look, or
so I thought, as I tried on with the new set of collection. This time I was firm on my decision - no
compromises, I was extra careful and choosy, unlike past instances.
A
couple of months passed by, juggling between work and life. But soon, I saw myself suffering the same sinking
feeling. Helplessness enveloped me. Why should I after all? I questioned myself. Shrugging it off wasn’t right. I had to take
charge before it grew worse, I was determined.
Some more shopping, some more changes and some more amendments in my
routine followed for the next few months.
Months rolled on and years elapsed struggling to keep myself away from
the roller coaster of emotions that swayed from one extreme to the other. I moved to a bigger house, bought a car, and
maintained a library, weekend outings increased but nothing seemed to be
working out as I had imagined. The only
option, I felt I was left with was to change my life style - quit my job. It
was an extreme difficult decision, getting addicted to the amount that credited
to my account, every month. More so, it
was that little world with its busy schedule that had always helped me to
forget the little ups and downs of day-today life. I had to settle, a compulsive decision overpowered
me. Despite everything, days were all
the same again, and I was back to square one, restless, hopeless and
frustrated. I pause, drained with energy. The scariest days of my life!
I'm wondering, what you think about Mid-life crisis....
